One of the most common questions we are asked here at SCR Racing is how customers can protect their vehicles. The last thing people want is to invest thousands in one of our bespoke performance packages such as the Lychgate Screen Dump only to see their treasured car damaged or stolen at the end of it.
SCR Racing have tested a number of conventional security systems but none of the solutions on the market today have met our demanding standards. For instance, an industry-approved engine immobilisers might prevent a thief from stealing your car, but does absolutely nothing to prevent him from re-offending. At SCR Racing we are not happy with this form of compromise and are delighted to announce, after literally minutes of development, our own range of Advanced Intruder Deterrence Systems. Which should not be confused with our performance enhancing Automated Injection Delivery System. That's a mistake you'll only make once. Although the result is much the same.
The range consists of three products to suit every budget:
The EVD Package. Our entry-level system, this option favours simplicity over all else. Which area has one of the lowest rates of car crime in the world? That's right: West Africa. By importing a local security consultant from this region and installing them in your passenger seat, you will benefit from a 24/7 deterrence feature that will make any potential thief think twice. As an added bonus, even if your car is stolen there is a fair chance that the thief will not re-offend in the future. £850, inc/not inc VAT. (Please be aware that this product does not come with an extended lifetime guarantee).
The Hot Seat. You know those South African security systems that mount flamethrowers outside the vehicle to roast an intruder as they approach? Those are crazy, and dangerous: anybody could get hurt as they walk past, and there is no way of controlling the effect radius of the system. However, we have found a way to combine the high deterrence factor of such systems with a socially-responsible approach. Short-burn, internally focused deterrence fed by two 600-litre kerosene tanks mounted on the roof: no thief will mess with that. For added protection, the system will automatically activate whenever certain randomly-chosen cabin controls are operated, ensuring the intruder cannot even listen to your radio in safety. Guaranteed to give you that warm, toasty, occasionally searingly hot feeling of security. £1,670, inc/not inc VAT. Absolutely no refunds available. System de-activation switch is an optional extra (£8,959).
The 180-Second Challenge. This is our premier system, operating on a two-tier approach. Firstly, our prominently-displayed dashboard Facia-mounted Highly Graphic Reinforcement deterrence option (Fac-HGR) will make even the most determined thief think twice before entering your vehicle. For those foolhardy souls that do get in, the Fac-HGR will ensure that they are swiftly rendered harmless and temporarily insensible. On coming to, they will find that they have been relocated to our bespoke rehabilitation unit, where they will have access to our large-scale indoor rehab bay in which they will undergo our ground-breaking 180-second long programme. This takes the form of an intensive one-on-one session with one of our two expert consultants. Those who come through the programme successfully will find themselves thoroughly changed by the experience, and we can promise you that returning to car theft will be the very last thing on their minds. £3,650, inc/not inc VAT. Installation free; removal can prove problematic.
But wait - there's more!
In breaking news, SCR Racing can now announce a partnership with the Japanese security experts at Suidobashi Heavy Industry for those who demand the pinnacle of vehicle defence. Remember: nobody can steal your car if there's no city left for potential thieves to live in. £POA.
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